Hope

The last two weeks have been challenging but have only confirmed how much I'm supposed to go on this trip. It seems as though every day brings new and ridiculous challenges brought on by spiritual warfare. Although, through it all, I've been able to remain calm and hopeful. I know that God is in control. I know that God will provide.

Two weeks ago, I was wondering how I'd even come up with $100 (which was our first payment due last Monday). I thought to myself, "if I'm wondering where I'm going to get $100, where in the world am I going to get $4,400?!" It was that Thursday night that I sat in my car calculating the $20 gifts I'd received that week. I had just been given $40 before I got into my car. As I added it up, I realized I was only $15 short of the $100 due on Monday. It was then that I knew this fundraising has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. I'm now seven days from the due date of our next payment, $700, and I'm once again crunching numbers. I'm slightly short of the $700 but I know that God will provide just enough just in time.

Last Tuesday, I lost my job. They laid me off. I've never been fired or laid off. I've always left jobs on my terms. This is the first time I've had to process leaving a job under these circumstances. I know, however, that I'm not alone. I realize I share this burden with thousands of people. I thought about weather or not it would be a good idea to go on this trip since I lost my job. I thought about how people would think of me raising support when I don't have a job. I came up with a million excuses for why it won't work. Then I realized, they are excuses. God has made it clear that He wants me to go on this trip. He has made it clear that I'm to let go of excuses. I believe He'll make it happen. I have hope. I have faith that I'll find a job. I have faith that God will stir the right people to give.

In this moment, it seems impossible. I believe, however, that God chooses these times to act miraculously! Because it's in these times I find faith. I will look back and have no doubt in my mind that it was God that got me through it. It's these times that people look back at and know He IS the great provider.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31